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How to start looking for happiness


'I want to work with women in design and STEM'

'Why is that important to you?'

"Because we need more equality in these sectors"

"Why is that important to you"

"1) because its important to have a balanced team working on products or services for people, because then you will have a better input and be able to have a better representation of how the general public think and 2) Because generally women are more caring leaders; we are naturally better at nurturing those in our stewardship, we are generally more empathetic leaders and we listen."

"Why is that important to you"

"Because there are too many leaders out there that don't care; they don't care about people, their people become miserable, they become despondent and they leave"

"Why is that important to you"

"Because we spend such a massive part of our waking life at work, we all deserve to have a caring boss that listens"

"Why is that important to you"

"Because we all deserve a chance to be happy"

"Why is that important to you"

"Because we get one shot at this life. Why be utterly miserable whilst you're doing it?"

When I started off my coaching journey, I knew I wanted to help people like me; women in the world of design & STEM. But it look this particular conversation really to actually dig much deeper than that.

It turns out that not only do I care about equality for women, women's voices to be heard in development of products, empathetic leadership, but I also care about happiness… for everyone.

I care that bosses are doing what makes them happy AND I care about the happiness spread throughout their team.

Being happy at work resonates out from yourself. It spreads to others, it inspires others.

I've been on my journey now for about 6 months and I knew something wasn’t right.

I had been doing all the right things, sharing my value as a leader, setting up all the mechanics, but nothing was happening and I was left with a feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's like swapping out your stomach for a washing machine except it's filled with a load of sticky dread.

I know this feeling too well; it’s the sign that I am not aligning myself with my values.


And when I vocalise it, then sh*ts about to go down.

It's important to challenge yourself (or have someone else challenge you) about 'your why'.

Knowing your why helps you steer into your purpose and ergo, into happiness.

And knowing this helps you to make decisions about your career and your interactions with others.

I've come across a few techniques which all adopt the same ideology, but it's used for different applications - finding purpose, innovation or empathy interviews.

But it works.

And I suggest you try it.

Now fair reader, what to do with that information once you have challenged yourself?

Here are my next steps:

  1. Acknowledge the fact that what I've done so far was not a waste of time

  2. Ask myself what I've learned

  3. Tell myself that it's ok to change my mind

  4. Check in with my values and ask myself where I need to lean in next

  5. Take imperfect action

With this kind of exploration, it's definitely important to adopt a growth mindset or even a 'prototyping' mindset.

If you realise your why is in a different direction to where you were before, too many of us will probably give up right there and then and keep going back to what you were doing or what you already know.

But there is something to be learned in every experience and there will always be something to leverage.

It's OK to change your mind.

It's OK to try things and see how it feels.

It's OK to make changes in order to find what's really important to you.

Imperfect steps are better than no steps at all.

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If you want some support to dive deeper into your 'why' then get in touch for a Free 30minute chemistry call. We can talk about where you're at and I'll let you know by the end of the call how I can support, with no obligations.

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