Once I made the decision to launch my business on International Women's Day, everything was go-time. I jumped into building my website and social media platform and I was working all the hours to make it work with my schedule. I was so excited, but at the same time, I was feeling so anxious in my chest and throat. Something was wrong and I felt triggered.
Was I going back to my old ways of being a workaholic? Was I going to burn out again?
I was feeling so guilty to be working in the evenings,
but I had to make some critical decisions about content, colour schemes, branding…. This was the moment to bring it all together. I was outstepping my boundaries, I thought. I need to make new ones. I brought this to the coaching space; I love to explore here. I dived into boundaries, and what I had felt recently when I was creating content. I had a lovely idea about what it felt to take the first step into something new . I felt so creative and alive but then I felt so guilty about working until after 9pm on this project to complete it. I was so disappointed with myself. My peer coach asked me 'you've said boundaries about 20 times in this session' (it was true she actually had counted them) 'what is the boundary that you feel you are breaking right now?' I paused to reflect on this….that’s when I realised; 'Finishing work at 6pm', I said.
I have been so used to a 'regular work day' of finishing at 6pm that it was so ingrained in my mindset.
I was so used to saying to myself that the evenings are when I shouldn't be working but that my day before that needs to be filled with work related activities. I'm so used to the feeling of validation of being perceived as useful when I am sitting in front of a computer screen at 9am.
Thinking about all of this, it's the first time in my life where it could be different and actually, it could be the most free I have ever been.
It's time to unlearn everything I know about the working week.
It's time for a new type of awareness. It's time for a new perspective on patience. It's time to plant seeds deep and wide and see what will happen next. I recognised that its ok to feel inspired and to work late to finish because you can't wait to share it. Its ok to take a walk in the afternoon because you are working until 8pm with a client. I recognised that I could no longer use my super impatience to make things happen. I prided myself on this before, and now, it no longer serves me. I cannot (or I choose not to) call potential clients to get appointments. I cannot force people to read my blog or like my social media posts. I cannot 'make things happen'… I have to wait for things to happen. I am planting seeds everywhere and I need to continue to show up, network with people and put my positivity and personality out into the world to be picked up. I was always looking to the future, thinking of deadlines, milestones and KPIs. For this, I cannot predict as I am working with individuals for now. I have to pause and be present with my current client base and ensure I give those who have stepped forward the best experience and support I can give them.
This, will be my biggest source of personal growth.
I already feel the difference with this pause; something WILL happen, but it will take time. I already feel a shift in my mood and energy once I made this connection. I'm entering a new phase of creativity in my life and work and I know that this will only help me. Its 830pm and I feel inspired to write, no anxious feeling in my chest. This is ok….. I had a nap this afternoon. Read more on my journey about self discovery and what coaching has done for me in my blog - https://www.sharpminds.coach/blog
Learn more about yourself by working with me - https://www.sharpminds.coach/coaching-process
Check out the pages of my peer coaches
Maya Rooz - https://www.instagram.com/the.life.curator/
Annabella Da Encarnacao - https://www.instagram.com/authenticleadership.coach/
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