Supporting Women in STEM: Expectations

Photo by Google DeepMind on Unsplash

Every August, school uniforms fill my social feeds. This year, one photo stopped me short: a friend’s son, his hair long and blonde—just like his mum’s. My immediate thought? “When will he get a haircut like the other boys?” I caught myself halfway through the sentence. It wasn’t about hair. It was about years of conditioning—what seemed "normal" for boys and girls. If these silent rules begin in childhood, they don't magically vanish when someone steps into STEM environments.

I got to thinking about the expectations which are most likely to impact women in STEM environments due to unconscious bias and how we can spot the signs of this happening around us.

1. Affinity Bias — “We Just Click”

What it is: A tendency to favor people who are similar to us—same background, interests, appearance, or identity.

Want to chat about the football or rugby? Have a mutual connection on linkedin? Did the same course at uni? What if that just isn't your world?

I remember when I first started out my career, and was finding it hard to connect with my colleagues, a bunch of much older, male, London based football fans. I was dating a football nut at the time and was immersed in the world of England's Premier League…. It was so much easier to start a chit chat if you already knew the Fulham score.

Affinity bias often influences hiring and promotion; for instance, managers unconsciously lean toward candidates who remind them of themselves or form a more casual connection, which undercuts diversity.

Women in STEM may be excluded from opportunities if they don’t “fit in” with a typically male homogenous group—slowing their progress, taking longer to form warm connection, limiting mentoring, and reinforcing echo chambers.

2. Attribution Bias — Giving Credit Unevenly

What it is: The tendency to credit men's successes to skill, while women's successes are often attributed to luck—or to blame mistakes on women’s ability.

I was involved from the very beginning of a major project and over the duration of the project, was given several other projects in parallel, as well as a promotion. However, I was part of the daily life of the project until production launch. A colleague of mine, released a document which promoted himself as the key person making it happen…. I wasn't even mentioned.

Lean In explains that when women succeed, their accomplishments are undervalued; when they fail, their competence is questioned. (Lean In) This erodes confidence, dampens visibility for future opportunity, and makes it harder for women to build track records of success that others recognize and reward.

3. Maternal Bias — The Motherhood Penalty

What it is: The assumption that motherhood equals lower competence or commitment.

As a child-free woman, I have collected many stories of mothers in my network losing their jobs, returning to work without a desk, or having their work be reallocated because "They'll just be sick all the time".

Studies on the “maternal wall” show women are judged harshly post-childbirth—seen as less dedicated simply for being mothers. (WorkLife Law) Mothers may be passed over for leadership roles, typecast in lesser tasks, or feel pressure to hide caregiving responsibilities—narrowing their trajectory in STEM careers.

4. Tightrope Bias — Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

What it is: The “double bind” where women must walk a narrow line—too assertive, and they’re perceived as abrasive; too warm, and they’re seen as weak.

I've mentioned in other blogs that pushing back with the wrong person has cost me my job. Women are generally conditioned to fawn in high stress situations…. And are most likely expected also.

The WorkLife Law group (UC Law SF) named this the “tightrope bias” where women must calibrate behavior precisely to avoid backlash. (Society of Women Engineers)  This constant balancing erodes mental bandwidth and hinder women from being authentic leaders, will be seen differently and often leading to internal conflict and exhaustion.

5. Likeability Bias — The Warmth Trap

What it is: Judgements of women often center on warmth and likeability—a burden rarely placed on men.

Women leaders are evaluated not only for competence but also for being likable, unlike men. Competence without likeability is penalized. Women may tone down their expertise to be more acceptable—or be seen as too mellow to lead—undermining their authority or self-expression.

Why Recognizing These Biases Matters

Women in male-majority STEM environments report high rates of discrimination—78% say their gender has made it harder to succeed. (Society of Women Engineers) Implicit stereotypes—such as associating science and engineering with men—persist globally and influence hiring, promotion, and retention. These biases don’t just diminish careers—they chip away at inclusion, innovation, and equity.

A Quiet Challenge for Women In STEM —and a Call to Action

Here’s the purpose of naming these biases: not to shame, but to surface the invisible. Once we recognize them, we can interrupt them—and make better decisions.

• In meetings: Invite diverse voices before making decisions.

• In hiring: Rely on structured and consistent questions, not instincts and instant connections

• In performance reviews: Check whose success gets noted—and whose gets dismissed.

• In mentoring: Ask who’s being seen and sponsored—and who’s left out.

Because real change starts when we pause and question: Did I judge them fairly? Was I influenced by an assumptions?

When we commit to confronting these biases—affinity, attribution, maternal, tightrope, likeability—we move from awareness to action. We design systems that don’t just accommodate women in STEM—but celebrate, include, and elevate them.

Want to do more to be an ally for women in STEM? Here's some more top tips.

Aware of other biases not included in the list? Drop a comment in the chat.