Self Doubt or Burnout?

Tracy Sharp
Oct 28
3 min read

Sometimes you don’t realise where you are until something small tips the balance.

A tiny request — just a little more.

And you hear yourself saying "Yes" again.

Because if you stop, then everything you’ve done would have been for nothing.

You don’t want to let anyone down.

You have to keep showing up.

What would they think if you didn’t?

Your brain whispers I can’t, but your body already keeps the score.

The tight jaw. The headache behind your eye. The nausea that makes lunch feel like a task.

You toss and turn, falling asleep but not staying there, haunted by problems that don’t exist.

You wake with a start, reaching for your phone in the dark, ready to tell someone — anyone — that you just need more time.

You promise yourself that tomorrow will be different.

You’ll rest, move, read.

But the mental to-do list unrolls before you even start the day.

Just one more task, one more email, one more thing that will make tomorrow easier.

You can't delegate, you’ll do it yourself — it’s faster that way.

You don’t want to be a bother.

You don’t want to be the one who complains.

And at home, the same story repeats.

Nobody else notices the dishwasher’s finished.

The butter is finished now, and nobody told you even though you just went to the store.

The school trip was cancelled, so now you need to find childcare.

You feel guilty for leaving. Guilty for working. Guilty for wanting anything for yourself.

But this is what we wanted, right?

To have it all.

Career, family, fulfilment, balance.

You're a feminist.... this is what everyone fought for.

It can’t be burnout. Everyone’s tired. Gotta hustle! Gotta push through the self doubt and just snap out of it!

Everyone else seems to managing just fine.

You just need to try harder.

Burn Out Can Affect Us All

What’s happening here isn’t personal weakness — it’s systemic.

According to LeanIn.Org and McKinsey’s 2023 Women in the Workplace study, 43% of women in leadership say they feel burned out, compared to 31% of men.

Gallup found that one in three employed women report feeling burned out “very often” or “always.”

Women still carry a heavier share of unpaid labour at home and emotional labour at work — the mentoring, the organising, the unacknowledged glue that holds teams and families together.

They’re also more likely to take on DEI and people-care work that rarely counts toward performance goals.

Add perfectionism, fear of judgement, and a culture that rewards over-functioning, and burnout becomes inevitable.

This isn’t about resilience. It’s about redistribution — of energy, responsibility, and recognition.

If you're feeling isolated, I feel that, and I've been there before myself.

Feeliing the burn? Here's what you can do for yourself, and so that those around you can support.

Small, Practical Steps

Name the invisible work. Write down everything that sits in your mental tabs — work, home, family, planning, remembering. Once it’s visible, ask: What can I let go of, delegate, or delay?
Set one small boundary. Choose something you can stick to this week. No emails after 7 p.m. Delegating one task instead of saying “I’ll just do it.” Boundaries build confidence through repetition. Not sure about a good boundary, think about your values.
Ask for a workload check-in. At work or at home, say: “I’m realising I’ve taken on too much — can we look at what we can rebalance?” A calm, early conversation is far easier than a late-stage collapse.
Carve out 30 minutes for yourself. No guilt, no multitasking. Use it however restores you — walking, reading, or letting your monkey mind go for a crazy swing around (my personal favourite). Protect it like you would a meeting and in fact, book it in your calender as 'Focus Time'.
Let one thing go — deliberately. Each week, pick one thing you’ll not do, and notice nothing fell apart. That’s what release feels like.