The SharpMinds Guide to Confidence

Tracy Sharp
Oct 9
5 min read

Most of us think confidence is something we either have or don’t. But in reality, it’s a muscle — one that grows through evidence, self-awareness, and compassion.

Over years of coaching, mentoring, and leading teams, I’ve learned that self-doubt isn’t something to “fix.” It’s something to understand. When we get curious about it, we find what it’s really pointing to: our values, our fears, and the gap between who we are and who we think we should be.

This guide brings together lessons from my own journey and from hundreds of conversations I’ve had with people who thought they’d lost their confidence — but hadn’t.

Whether you’re struggling with self-doubt, leading someone who is, or simply wanting to feel more grounded in who you are, this is your starting point to understand confidence, reframe doubt, and build self-trust again.

Are You Questioning Yourself More Than Usual?

Self-doubt isn’t rare — it’s universal. Up to 85% of people experience imposter feelings at work. It shows up quietly: you hesitate to speak up, you second-guess decisions, or you hold back from opportunities you’d once jump at.

But here’s the encouraging part — we’re finally talking about it.

Confidence isn’t a fixed trait; it’s something that grows in the right environment.

When teams value progress over perfection, people start taking risks again. When leaders recognise effort as much as outcomes, people begin to trust themselves more deeply.

Confidence flourishes where people feel psychologically safe — and it shrinks where fear rules. The good news is, culture can change, and so can your relationship with confidence.

Dive in to my top tips:

Supporting Women in STEM: Overcoming Self-Doubt

Overcoming Self-Doubt: Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Do You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough (Even When You Are)?

That critical voice that says you’re not ready, you’re not qualified, you’re not enough — it’s not always the enemy. Often, it’s your brain’s attempt to keep you safe. It warns you not to take risks, not to be seen, not to fall short. It’s protective — but it’s also outdated.

In my coaching work, I see this pattern most often in high-achievers. The same qualities that make you brilliant — conscientiousness, empathy, high standards — can turn against you when you’re exhausted or under-supported. The result is a constant undercurrent of “I should be doing better.”

The first step isn’t to silence the voice. It’s to listen to it with curiosity. Ask what it’s afraid of, and whether it’s still serving you. When you do, you start regaining control — and the voice loses its power.

Here's some more reading about some helpful reframes when you need a pep:

Do I Just Really Suck at My Job?

Ah, Hello Imposter Syndrome — Who Let You In?

Is Stress Getting the Better of You?

When stress rises, confidence drops.

It’s not that you’ve suddenly become worse at your job — it’s that your body’s threat system has taken over. Under constant pressure, your nervous system moves from reflection to reaction. The smallest setback can feel like proof you’re failing.

I’ve watched incredibly capable people spiral because they don’t recognise that stress and self-doubt are intertwined. Chronic stress narrows your focus until all you can see are mistakes. The answer isn’t to push harder — it’s to pause. Regulate your nervous system first, then return to the challenge with a calmer mind.

Confidence doesn’t come from avoiding stress — it comes from learning how to recover from it.

And here's more of the sciencey bit:

How to Manage Stress When Tensions Rise at Work

Have You Been Told to “Just Be More Confident”?

If only it were that simple and many of us have been raised to stay small.

“Be more confident” is easy advice to give, but impossible to act on when you’re not feeling it. Confidence isn’t a switch — it’s a side effect of action.

It builds gradually, through small moments where you take a risk, see the result, and prove to yourself that you can handle it.

The people who seem effortlessly confident aren’t faking it — they’ve just practised more. They’ve built a track record of getting uncomfortable and surviving it. Confidence is trust, earned one decision at a time.

So instead of forcing confidence, focus on collecting evidence. Every time you speak up, apply for something new, or stand by your opinion — that’s another brick in the wall.

Ready to build that wall? Here's my top tips.

5 Ways to Build Confidence in a Male-Dominated Industry

Do You Ever Replay Mistakes and Cringe?

We all do. Yes.... it's true.

But the difference between self-doubt and self-growth lies in what happens after.

Reflection without kindness turns into rumination. You replay what went wrong, dissect every detail, and conclude that you’re the problem.

True reflection looks different. It’s calm, curious, and forward-looking.

It asks: What did I learn? What might I do differently next time?

It shifts the focus from blame to progress. When people start practising this kind of reflection, I see their confidence grow — not because they suddenly succeed more, but because they learn to extract value from the moments that didn’t go to plan and actually take a moment to acknowledge and recognise how far they've come.

Want to know some more prompts for your journal?

What Is Reflective Practice

Is It Really You — or the Environment You’re In?

Sometimes self-doubt isn’t internal at all. It’s a signal that something external is off.

If you’re consistently undervalued, dismissed, or excluded, it’s no wonder you start to question yourself. That’s not a personal weakness — it’s an emotional response to an unsupportive environment.

I’ve coached so many people who come to me convinced they’re broken, only to realise they’ve simply been in the wrong place (or under a difficult leader). Confidence doesn’t survive long in cultures that erode it.If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself but still feel depleted, it might be time to look at the system, not the self.

Break glass for emergency reading on career moves, unepected or long overdue

Self-Doubt — Or Is It Time to Leave?

Help! I’ve Been Made Redundant,

What Now?What to Do When You Start to Feel “Is This It?”

Are You Scared of Being Bad at Something?

Perfectionism is the enemy of growth.

Confidence doesn’t come from always being right — it comes from knowing you can recover when you’re wrong.

A growth mindset lets you see mistakes as data, not evidence of failure. It turns “I can’t do this” into “I can’t do this yet.” The difference is subtle but powerful. When you approach learning as a process instead of a test, you free yourself from the constant pressure to prove your worth.

The people who grow fastest aren’t those who avoid failure — they’re the ones who stay curious through it and who can get back up quickly after a fail (and i've had a fair few of them now)

Old habits getting you nowhere? Check out some practical tips

Growth Mindset Activities for Self-Critics

How I Reframed My Biggest Life Failure

Are You Ready to Make Peace with Self-Doubt?

Confidence isn’t the absence of self-doubt — it’s a different relationship with it. When you stop seeing doubt as proof you’re not good enough and start recognising it as a normal, human emotion, it loses its grip.

Self-doubt can even be useful. It keeps you learning, humble, and reflective. But it shouldn’t be in charge. The goal isn’t to silence it — it’s to listen, take what’s useful, and move forward anyway.

You don’t have to feel fearless to be confident. You just have to keep showing up — especially when you don’t feel ready.

If you want to go deeper, explore the linked articles above, join my newsletter, or reach out about coaching. Confidence starts with understanding yourself — and that begins here, with you.